Infomercial from 2098
A man with a pencil thin moustache wearing a plaid sports coat stands in front of the camera. He reminds one of a used car salesman from the late 20th century. With him stands an amazingly beautiful woman. Platinium blonde, golden tanned, she wears a clingy white mini-dress with red polka dots. The dress is low cut and shows ample cleavage, doubly pronounced so by the tight fit. She exudes a combination in equal amounts of sexiness and vacuousness.
The man begins his sales pitch:
"Hello everyone, if you've just logged on, you've discovered 'ANDROIDS R US.'
And for the next half hour, I, Mortie Slackmeyer, and my lovely assistant Babs will demonstrate why you should buy our line of human automata. Say hello to the people out there Babs."
"Hiya." quips the woman with a very large and fixed smile.
The camera pulls back to reveal a stage with a large bed, a table, and three very attractive and very naked people, two men and one woman standing motionless in the middle of it all.
"Folks, I'd like you to meet Tom, Harry, and Melissa. These new models are the top of the line in robots. They are virtually indestructable because they are constructed from military grade materials. They've got a skeletal framework that can take getting hit by a truck and not be dented. On top of that, they have a synthetic myofibril muscle mass that simulates a natural look to their body mass. And on top of that, a silicone polymer skin layer that replicates the look and feel of real human skin. Plus, they're equipped with the latest in nanite repair technology. Any damage that does occur will be fixed in 15 minutes or less!"
Mortie looks over to Babs, who is applying lipstick to herself.
"Babs honey, why don't you show the viewers what I'm talking about."
Babs has this look of cluelessness until Mortie points at the table next to the bed.
"Oh, sure thing Mortie." She struts over to the table and picks up a wooden pointer, holding it up in the air like was the sword Excalibur.
"As I was saying, these androids are practically indestructable. You can slap them."
Babs strikes the nearest male android with all her might, snapping the pointer in half.
"You can smack them."
Babs picks up a 2x4 and strikes the robot over the head, splitting the beam down it's length in half.
"You can whack them."
Babs hefts a aluminium baseball bat, brings it down with all her might on the shoulder of the abused android. It bounces off him and out of her hands and flies out of camera range; a shattering noise comes from somewhere off stage. The robot just stands there, slightly rocking from the impact.
"And you just can't hurt 'em." shouts Mortie. Babs stands there, her arms held up in the air in a 'Ta Da' gesture.
"Now that you've seen how tough they are, lets' activate Tom here and show you how lifelike they are." Mortie reaches over and inserts a small key-like device into a rectangular opening 3 inches above his butt. Tom activates instantly. Mortie smiles and faces Tom.
"Tom, why don't say hello to all the people out there."
Tom looks at the camera and says "Hello everyone, my name is Tom and I can perform a number of functions according to your desires, whether as a escort-bodyguard or a house servant or as a sex partner. All that is required is for you to say a special word or phrase that will activate that particular program within my central processing unit. You can even program me to behave like a real human being without the self-realization that I am in fact a android. You can..."
Mortie reaches behind Tom and pulls the key out, freezing him in mid sentence.
"Thats right folks, they can be programmed on the spot. No more having to plug them into the home PC and going through all those boring safety protocols. Their advanced CPU's can let you go straight to the point of what you want by simple verbal commands. They can be programmed for any situation. Ever want an un-bribable guard, a loyal servant, a perfect lover?"
Babs perks up and says" How about a baseball player? I love baseball players. My boyfriend was on the Yankees......"
Mortie gives her a withering stare and says "Yes dear, even one of those." He returns his attention to the viewers.
"Now you have it folks. Whats that you say, a perfect lover? How can this be? ABSOLUTELY! A lover who won't tire, a lover that will never leave you for another, a lover that will always be in the right mood at the right time. Look no further."
Mortie walks over to Harry and Melissa and inserts a key into each of their backs. Both activate and look at Mortie. " Activate program A47." he says.
They walk over to the bed on stage and proceed to make passionate love. After some brief foreplay,Harry inserts himself into Melissa's pussy. They begin to rock on the bed, the motion becoming more intense as the action increases, all the time they behave as though they were two real human making love. As they reach their climax, they moan loudly, the bed creaking under the strain. Just as they orgasm, Mortie reaches over and removes both their keys. They freeze instantly, Harry clutching the sheets, his eyes have a far away look to them, his mouth open in a frozen silent moan. Melissa's legs are up in the air, toes curled in passion. She is grasping his waist in her hands. Her face is contorted in a grimace of ecstacy, eyes squeezed shut.
Mortie stands next to the bed and says "Babs honey, help me pull these two lovebirds apart so I can show everyone something special."
Mortie with Babs on the other one, pulls Harry away with a slight sucking sound from Melissa while Babs holds her down. Mortie lays Harry down onto the floor, his rigid body motionless, cum still dripping from erect cock. Going back to Melissa, Mortie points to her glistening open pussy and says, "See folks, Melissas' lights are out but she's still open for business. What's that you say, you didn't see any lube used? That's because these babies are self lubricating. A special non-toxic water based gel that can be eaten and tastes just like the real thing."
Babs giggles and says"That sounds so yummy!"
Mortie pauses a half second at this ad lib and continues. "Think about it folks. You don't have to worry about getting pregnant or catching a disease. Now isn't that worth putting your hard earned credits down for? And if that isn't enough, how's about this!" Mortie walks over to Tom, still standing frozen right where they left him. Mortie picks up a different key from the table and inserts it into Toms' back. Taking a remote from his pocket, Mortie points it at Tom.
"What if you don't like the factory colour? Too light? We can fix that. Something a bit more tanned? Here you go!" Mortie pushes a button and Toms' skin tone turns to a golden hue."Darker still? No problem." Toms' skin darkens to a deep brown hue, the colour of leather. "Or how about the other way?" The android's skin reverts back and to a very fair complexion. "And, if you want something truly out of the ordinary." Tom suddenly moves and assumes a pose with one leg angled up and behind him, hanging in the air, the other leg balancing him underneath. His arms stretch out straight, one forward, one back. His skin tone changes to a chrome silver finish.
"How would like to mount this on your Rolls Royce flitter as a hood ornament?" Mortie pushes another button and Tom changes his pose again to a bodybuilder pose, freezes and turns stoney grey. "How about this, a sculpture for your backyard?"
Mortie presses yet another button and Tom's pose changes to a copy of Michelangelos' David and turns pure white."What about this for your art gallery?"
Babs excitedly butts in "Ohh, can you make his colour with red polka dots to match my dress?"
Mortie, slowly burning now, turns to Babs and says "Honey, go have a conversation with the water cooler, okay?"
Babs smiles and says "Breaktime? Okay." and walks off the stage.
Mortie returns his attention to the camera. "Now how much would you expect one of these beauties to cost? Think you can't afford it? No problem. We've got installment plans available. We take all major credit and debit cards.You can't pass up a find like this."
Mortie walks over to Harry and Melissa still at their bed. Babs walks over, a piece of paper sticking out of her cleavege. Mortie pauses and asks Babs, "Whats that, Babs?"
Babs replies " I got a date with Mr. Alhambra ."
Mortie's mouth drops open before he remembers where he is and what his job is and reconsidering his line of work and shuts his mouth again.
He looks at the camera and says "But wait, there's more!"
"They get the robots and a set of Ginzu knives too?" cheerfully asks Babs.
Ignoring her, Mortie says with a hint of exhaustion, "These androids are modular. Watch this!" he reaches over and with a twist and a turn, Melissa's breast comes off. "If you don't like the bust size, we have extra parts to make it the size and shape you want. And the same goes for the guys as well." Mortie walks over to Tom and reaches over and with a twist and a turn, his cock comes off. Another
twist and turn and Toms' hand comes away also.
"Babs, go get the extras case will you?"
"Sure thing Mortie." She walks off stage and brings back a large black carry case. She opens it and inside is an assortment of male and female body parts.
"Okay folks, here's the whole enchilada. Call now and you can have this assortment FREE. Yes, I said free! Free with your purchase of one of these marvels of technology. Think of the possibilities with this kit." Gesturing to Tom, he picks up a hand and a foot saying "Large masculine hands to hold you gals. Large feet to worship for you guys. And when your friends see you with your new toy with those big hands and feet, they'll nudge each other and wink, saying you know what they say about big hands and big feet don't you?"
Babs wearing a big grin says" Big gloves and big shoes?"
Mortie just stares at the camera, and without taking his gaze away from it, reaches and pulls away the key from Babs's back. She freezes with her perfect smile still frozen on her face, rocking back and forth.
Tiredly, Mortie speaks to the audience. "Call the number at the bottom of the screen now folks, and good night."
The picture fades to black just as Babs falls over with a resounding crash.
CALL NOW 1878-3547-576489
or ANDROIDSRUS.BIZ