Lester Grimly: Have you ever seen one of those old guys with the long sideburns and greased up pompadour haircuts, that thinks he’s Elvis? You might see him at a truck stop harassing the waitress, or creeping through your local Wally-Mart late at night. Well that’s Lester Grimly. ….Ole’ Uncle Lester is a backwoods hillbilly, who inherited their family owned funeral home in Shady Creek. He’s a sizeable old man, who likes to dabble with taxidermy in his spare time. He’s also hiding an awfully big secret, for somebody that’s just a small-town mortician.
Elmer Grimly: Lester’s younger brother, who used to own and operate a traveling sideshow. Elmer’s getting to old for the road these days, so he retired from the circuit. The enterprising redneck comes up with a new way to draw in money for his kin. He’s hard to talk to sometimes, because of his lazy eye. He’s a Skoal man, by the way…
Weasel Grimly: With his patchy “mullet-style” haircut, homemade “Indian ink” tattoos and missing front teeth, Elmer’s only son looks like a natural born looser. Weasel’s favorite pastime is feeding mice to his killer snakes. He also has a speech impediment, which causes him to stutter.
Wendell “Woody” Woods: The proprietor of a gas and goodies store that’s surrounded by a junkyard, and sits just a few miles outside of Shady Creek. The kind of guy that wears suspenders and a orange hunting cap all-year-round. This hick married his own cousin, when he was forced to wed Gertrude Grimly. (Wendell is from the “deep” backwoods, where the family tree resembles a circle. But out here in the hills, who really bothers to keep track?) . . . Should probably be registered as an offender somewhere…
Deputy Ernest Woods: Wendell’s only son, whose nearly as perverted as his old man. This crooked “county mounty” has aspirations of being the local sheriff someday.
Gertrude Woods: A seemingly sweet old lady, who might not be so sweet after all . . .
Heroes, Victims and the Innocent Bystanders
Leanne Fenton: A beautiful cheerleader from Brookfield High, whose life is cut tragically short by a car crash on New Year’s Eve, 1979. Leanne is the girl that sets it all off . . .
Clark Goodwin: Although a bit on the nerdy side, Clark is a hard working man. The father decides to take his family on a much needed summer vacation. Somewhat inspired by the Clark Griswold character from the “Vacation” movies, except maybe a little more sexually frustrated!
Beverly Goodwin: A thirty eight year old with graying, dirty blonde hair and a serious overbite. Mrs. Goodwin is still a sexy gal for her age, even after having two kids! Surely inspired by the actress Beverly D’Angelo, who played the mother in “Vacation”.
Amanda Goodwin: The eldest of the Goodwin children, Amanda is known for being fairly outspoken, and at times can be a bit full of herself. Somewhat inspired by Rachel McAdams’s character “Regina George” from the “Mean Girls” movie, (only I pictured her with crimped hair!) She’s a shapely and very leggy blonde, with dark brown eyes . . .
Courtney West: Amanda’s best friend from high school, and the somewhat underrated one, out of the two of them. Courtney is a petite brunette with a tight little athletic body. She’s also the girl that’s been starring in all of Joey Goodwin’s wet dreams! Inspired by the actress Lacey Chabert and her character “Gretchen” also from mean girls.
Nicole (Nikki) Goodwin: Being the oldest of the twins, (only by ten minutes or so), this blue-eyed blonde is surely the more innocent and naēve of the two Goodwin girls.
Joey Goodwin: The younger one of the twins and considered the baby of the family. Being the youngest, the boy is constantly harassed by his sister Amanda, and is often the brunt of his sister’s jokes. . . . Joe has recently hit puberty, and has a head-over-heels crush on his oldest sister’s best friend - the divine Courtney West. I sort of based this character off of myself; not only to be on the safe-side, but because I was pretty similar at that age…
Jimmy Ray Philips: Your typical country “good ole’ boy” who wears sleeveless flannel shirts and “shit-kicker” boots. The kind of guy who likes to blow off some steam down at the local watering hole. In fact; you can usually hear him letting out a “rebel yell” down there on every Friday and Saturday night.
Bobby Jo Simpson: The kind of country gal who likes to tie her t-shirt in a knot, just to show off what she’s got. Bobby Jo wears faded Levis that are cut off high and hang low on her hips. Aside from her impressive measurements, this local girl is known for her dimpled chin and long blonde wavy hair. Undoubtedly inspired by Jessica Simpson’s “Daisy Duke” character from the “Dukes of Hazzard” movie!
Lei Li: This eighteen-year-old left her homeland China and set off for a new life in America. Having been in the states for only a few weeks, Lei Li’s ability to read, speak or even understand English is quite poor. Through her own misfortune, she winds up on the wrong bus and eventually arrives in Shady Creek instead! Think of Yunjin Kim from LOST (even though she’s older) when you imagine Lei.
Regina Rodriguez: A hot Puerto Rican girl with an athletic body, who only likes other girls. The out-doorsey and tom-boyish type. Inspired by Michelle Rodriguez.
Mary Lou McCray: A close friend and now current lover of Regina Rodriguez. The more girly of the two, and certainly the woman in the relationship. Inspired by Portia de Rossi!
Esmeralda “Sinnamon” Lobos: This illegal immigrant had dreams of leaving Mexico behind her forever. Unfortunately, she was swindled and forced into prostitution by a Latino gang. Now on the run, she winds up in Shady Creek. Esmeralda dances part time at a local club called the “Buck Nekid” and often sells her body to pay the rent. She mysteriously vanishes while walking home from the strip club one night, never to be found. …Inspired by the foxy “Myamee” from the “I Love Money 2” VH1 reality show. (However, she’s actually African-American, and not of Latin descent!)
Christina Salviati: A biology major from Duke University who is just as intelligent, as she is good looking. Chrissy experiences car trouble while on a trip home to Florida for the Easter break. She winds up at a small garage just outside of Shady Creek, where she personally discovers what it’s like to be a fly caught in amber . . .
I hope you enjoy the read . . . Here's a link to the first part.